When a NO vote is FOR, not AGAINST



The current marriage postal survey is clearly contentious and divisive – it is all over my social media feeds! Is the survey worth having? Several years ago I wanted my Federal MP to know how this constituent would like her to vote should it come to a parliamentary decision. How else was she to know the opinions of the electorate she is representing? I received a reply, arguing against reasons I had not even mentioned, informing me she would be voting without consideration to my opinion but according only to her conscience. Our understanding of ‘representation’ must be different. So is this survey worth having? YES – complete the survey and have your opinion heard.



Having read many reasons how people are deciding their stance, it has become clear the reasons are wide and varied – in both directions – yet the survey does not ask for any. The result will simply be counted as YES or NO. I don’t want the result of my survey to be assumed so I thought I’d lay it out there …

My vocational work for the past 12 years has been for the best interests of children. I hold to the traditional view of marriage between a man and a woman as it is my opinion this is the IDEAL environment for the production, growth, development and nurturing of a child. Both a male and female need to be involved for the creation of a child (scientists can artificially fertilise an egg and sperm, but cannot artificially create zygotes), and so the full involvement of both biological parents in an exclusive and loving relationship (marriage) is (in my opinion) required for the BEST growth, development and nurturing of children. I want to see the legal definition of marriage to reflect this since children become adults that influence society and culture, and I want that influence to be the best possible. My vote is FOR the preservation of a definition that I think is to the benefit of society, not AGAINST an ideology or to restrict anyone’s freedom or rights.



  1. a heterosexual married family unit is the ONLY place where a child will grow and be nurtured – of course not! There are many single parents, separated parents, blended families, foster parents and parents in same-sex relationships who provide wonderfully supportive, safe and loving environments for children to thrive. Would a widower with young children prefer the mother of his children to be around? Of course. Does a single mum whose partner was abusive wish he had been loving and protective towards her and their kids? Definitely, but that was not the reality so she took the right steps for the wellbeing of herself and her children ( #DVnotOK ). Where a parent is in a same-sex relationship the other biological parent cannot be intimately involved in the parenting relationship to the same extent as married heterosexual parents, so while all these family units CAN be loving and nurturing for children I do not think they are OPTIMAL. Hence I restate that the full involvement of both biological parents in an exclusive and loving relationship (marriage) is (in my opinion) required for the BEST growth, development and nurturing of children.
  2. same-sex couples should not have the same legal rights as married couples – seriously(?), of course they should! Let’s change the laws to make this happen, but I’d like to see it called something different and retain “marriage” as it is. It has been speculated that members of the LGBT+ community want their relationships validated by allowing same-sex couples to marry. If this is the basis on which the validity (and hence security) of such a relationship relies on, then look at the divorce rates for heterosexual couples – it is no guarantee. Human relationships require a vulnerability with no guarantee of continued reciprocation if they are to be intimate and loving. No legal status or piece of paper will replace or guarantee it.
  3. couples not planning to have kids shouldn’t bother to get married. Same-sex partners can have a sexually intimate relationship that will never result in the conception of a life. The incidence of heterosexual couples falling pregnant is significantly higher. Whether they are planning to have children or not, the chances are high and so yes, I think they should get married.
  4. children who grow up in broken homes or with same-sex parents cannot positively influence society and culture as adults. No child is ever going to have the ideal upbringing regardless of their family dynamic. We all carry our own baggage (and add to it with our own selfishness) into relationships and adult life. I am under no illusion that heterosexual parents produce perfect kids – heck, mine aren’t! 🙂



A quick google search means it’s not hard to discover I am a christian (I assume that’s what my federal MP did), so I’ve saved you the trouble. I do hold other biblically-based reasons for voting NO but I do not expect, nor would it be reasonable, for a non-christian society to take any heed of them. I am happy to discuss them personally should anyone be curious.

Having confidence in the democratic #freedom we enjoy in Australia I do not plan to defend further any statements I have already made and probably won’t interact in any comments ( #tolerance ). And as I always encourage children – #respect & #kindness .


What will your kids say you love?


I’m not particularly into cricket. Watching the Boxing Day test is not something we do as part of our Christmas tradition. My kids probably think the Boxing Day test is seeing how many unsanctioned activities they can use their new toys for before they break! I’m not particularly into cricket. Some will call me un-Australian for this confession, but please read on. You see, the reason I’m not really into cricket, and why my kids are not really into cricket, is because my dad was not really into cricket. I don’t hate cricket, I’m just ambivalent about it.

So what will my kids say I love? That will be interesting, won’t it! It will depend what I talk about, what I spend our money on, what I use my time doing. Most of all, it will depend on whether I include them in what I love.

I would hope my kids would hear me talking about Jesus and perfect report card He has secured for us. I would hope being generous with our money and possessions will show my kids that all we have is His anyway, so lets use it for His glory. I would hope my kids will say that Dad loved reading His bible – whether by seeing me read it, taking it everywhere and not being distracted by notifications that come with using a device. I would hope my kids will remember being involved in reading God’s word, in serving our church, in loving others through hospitality.

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. Deuteronomy 6:4-9

What will your kids say you love?

Involving your kids in what you love will also show them you love them too.


Do you find these posts helpful in parenting to the Glory of God?

If you do, then I’m sure others would too. 

Please SHARE these posts, and in doing so pray for a generation of kids who have had the gospel of Jesus taught & modelled to them by their parents.

When we don’t keep our cool

In all our best parenting intentions, if you are anything like me, you will lose it with your kids. I’m not proud of it, I wish I could go back and change it, but what to do when we do? We could justify it because we are already juggling many balls already and this was just the icing on the cake. We could deny it as using a firm voice to make sure we were heard over the oft-loud background noise. We could hide it from our friends and neighbours with false smiles and ‘happy families’. Or we could own up to it, apologise for it (to God and our kids), and seek His help to better handle such situations in the future. Should we be surprised when we sin in this way? I don’t think so, but ignoring it is not a solution either.

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.  1 John 1:8

In His mercy, God has forgiven our sins, and so we can freely confess them to Him (along with all the other sin from each day).

Continuing in 1 John…

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Let’s also not beat ourselves up with guilt, we all fall short of God’s glory.

We have been promised a helper, the Holy Spirit, for which we can pray to bear the fruit of self-control. The other fruits of the spirit are pretty helpful in parenting too.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control.Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
Gal 5:22-26

As for other physical things we can do, these tips from a secular parenting blogger can be helpful too. Do your parenting intentions live up to your parenting reality?

Do you find these posts helpful in parenting to the Glory of God?
If you do, then I’m sure others would too. 

Please SHARE these posts, and in doing so pray for a generation of kids who have had the gospel of Jesus taught & modelled to them by their parents.